We recommend you make this easy chocolate bark recipe for anyone you may have recently upset. Scientifically proven to melt anger away by its taste alone; a revolutionary neurological advancement that is not yet fully understood, this easy chocolate bark recipe is changing lives one small bite at a time.
Easy Chocolate Bark
Let’s break down the science part. Once this chocolate bark is consumed by an angry person, some sort of molecules in the aggrieved party’s brain rearrange with the dopamine receptors or whatever the hell, which are now in tango with the chocolate and nuts and stuff, and from there the complicated magical/science stuff moves on to the brain’s frontal cortex, which triggers the neurons to fire off a peace treaty, and viola! Instant forgiveness. Cool, huh? If science isn’t your thing (it’s clearly not ours), we will give you a real-life example:
Forgot to pick the kids up from school? …For the third time this week? Hubby won’t care a bit if you apologize with these bad boys in hand. Plus, with the kids at home and not stuck at school totally forgotten about, he would have to share his chocolate bark with them. So not only will he forgive you, he will also thank you, and ask you to do it again sometime soon if you don’t mind. Hard to believe, we know, but science is trippy stuff.
Ok. SHOCKING CONFESSION TIME: Every single thing we just wrote was completely made up, sorry. Except for the very first part, which is, “We recommend you make this easy chocolate bark recipe”! How easy, you ask? We are talking “under 10-minutes, no-bake” kind of easy. Here’s what to buy and how to make it!
Easy Chocolate Bark Recipe:
This chocolate bark is so easy that it literally doesn’t even need a recipe. You can use any number of toppings and ingredients as mix-ins; we simply used what we had in our pantry. Plus we are totally hooked on those Ghirardelli ‘Sea Salt Soiree’ squares, so we stuck to the sweet/salty that we love so much. Next time, we are going to experiment with adding flaked coconut. But to get you started, we will tell you what we put in our version, which can serve as a guideline/template for almost any chocolate bark you can dream up! This is fully customizable and oh so easy.
INGREDIENTS WE USED FOR CHOCOLATE BARK:
- 4 Ghiradelli bittersweet baking bars, 60% cacao (for a total of 16 oz)
- 1 cup pistachios (shelled/roasted), randomly chopped into big & small pieces
- 1/2 cup almonds (unsalted/roasted), randomly chopped into big & small pieces
- 1/4 tsp almond extract (note- we used almond extract instead of vanilla here, simply to play up the almonds already in recipe. If your chocolate bark combination will be without almonds, we would likely recommend using 1/2 tsp vanilla extract instead)
- 2 tsp finely ground coffee, divided
- 1/2 tsp sea salt, i.e. Maldon (do NOT use table salt)
HOW TO MAKE EASY CHOCOLATE BARK:
- Break each chocolate baking bar into squares. Place baking bar squares in large, microwave-safe bowl. Microwave for 25 seconds, stir. Continue in 25-second intervals, stirring between each, until only small lumps remain. Remove, stir again.
- Add 1/2 cup pistachios, 1/4 cup almonds, 1 tsp ground coffee, and 1/4 tsp almond extract (or 1/2 tsp vanilla extract). Stir well to fully coat/combine with chocolate.
- Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Spread chocolate mixture evenly onto baking sheet, using a rubber spatula. Add the remaining 1/2 cup pistachios and 1/4 cup almonds on top. Sprinkle with remaining 1 tsp ground coffee, and 1/2 tsp sea salt to top everything off!
- Cover baking sheet with another piece of parchment paper and place in the refrigerator. Let set for 2 hours, then break the chocolate bark into randomly-sized pieces. Enjoy!
Well, if that’s not an easy chocolate bark recipe we don’t know what is. This is TOTALLY customizable and we would love to hear your creations and the combinations you come up with! Hmm… Wouldn’t a SMORES flavored chocolate bark be awesome? Or a strawberry-cheesecake white chocolate bark… ugh the possibilities are endless! Please leave us a comment for some inspiration – let’s see who can get the most creative! 🙂